Chief Wedding Attendant Checklist

Congratulations! You’ve been chosen as the Chief Attendant (or Maid-Of-Honour, Best Man, Man-Of-Honour, Best Woman, Best Person or another chosen title!) at a gay wedding. You’re probably wondering what they do. We have a checklist with everything you need to do before and during the big day.

• Offer Your Support – This is going to be a stressful time in your friend/sibling’s life. You want to make sure you offer your support wherever it may be necessary, even if it’s just lending your ear.
• Attend Outfit Shopping and Fittings – You’re going to want to accompany your friend/sibling to their outfit shopping as they will likely want your opinion as their partner is likely not going to be there. Of course, this is also the same for your own outfit.
• Lead the Party – The couple chose you to be the chief attendant because your friend/sibling trusts you to serve as the point of contact for the rest of the wedding party.
• Create a Group Chat – It’s going to be easier to contact everyone all at once to give any details that the wedding party needs to know. Rather than individually messaging each other.
• Coordinate – Help the couple coordinate fittings, wedding hair & makeup appointments, travel and accommodation arrangements for the wedding party.
• Help Host Parties – There are a variety of events in the wedding calendar, and the couple could use some support to organise them. Help take some of that stress by taking the time to figure out what they do and don’t want. Then, you can take charge of planning the smaller events such as the wedding shower and stag/hen/fox party.
• Attend All Pre-Wedding Events – Chief attendants should attend all the pre-wedding events.
• DIY Projects – Help the couple with any DIY projects they have for the wedding.
• Wedding Morning Plan – A task that not many chief attendants remember to do is to plan for the morning of the wedding, your friend/sibling will be nervous and most likely overwhelmed with wedding day jitters so help the morning go smoothly by arranging a playlist, a bottle of bubbly and any little details that might help ease the stress while getting ready for the day.
• Emergency Kit – Wedding attendants should come prepared in case of any emergency. Ripped clothes, blisters, headaches, etc… are things to consider when you create an emergency kit.
• Rehearsal – The rehearsal is super important to attend. Here you will learn the proceedings for the day and all the details you must know before the big day. You should ask any questions about guests, proceedings and any other queries at the rehearsal.
• Drink Duty – This one seems silly but you’d be surprised how easy it is to over-indulge before and during the wedding. Be on alert for anyone on their 3rd glass of prosecco. It’s not a great look if the wedding party is swaying through the ceremony.
• Write Your Speech – As chief attendant, you will most likely be required to perform a speech during the reception. Make sure you write a brilliant one! Check out our guides on speech writing here & here.
• Get Ready – Help the nearly-wed get ready on the morning of the wedding.
• Look After The Rings – You may be responsible for the rings until the exchange. Make sure you have them in a safe place.
• Greet Guests – It’s your job to help guide guests to their seats. Welcome them to the wedding and answer any questions such as “where are the toilets?” and “where should I put any gifts?”.
• Be a Witness – It’s most likely that as the chief wedding attendant, you have been asked to be a marriage witness. Make sure you’re present and ready to sign the marriage license.
• Direct To Reception – To ensure the day runs smoothly and on time. Direct guests after the ceremony to the reception.
• Perform Your Speech – Get the speeches underway!
• Have Fun – You’ve done all the major tasks required as a chief attendant. Now it’s time to enjoy the couple’s company, entertainment and reception!
• Pack The Couple’s Belongings – It should be up to the chief attendants to pack up the couple’s belongings from their rooms, ready for their exit. It will help prevent them from missing out on time with their guests and enjoying the wedding they’ve put together. A simple task that is highly appreciated as the couple will not want to pack before they jet off. They will want to be able to head off swiftly.
• Send The Couple Off – Make sure they have everything ready so they can leave without any worries.
• Direct Guests to Accommodation & Transport – As the couple leaves, it will be up to the wedding party to ensure everyone gets to their respective accommodation and transport links. Make sure there are no guests passed out in the bathroom toilet!
• Send Back Any Rentals – The couple will likely be on their honeymoon or want to relax after the wedding. So gather up all the rented outfits, props or decorations. The couple will be very grateful if you send them back on their behalf!
• Congratulate The Couple – Send your thanks, love and congratulations to the happy couple. It’s been a wild, stressful and emotional ride, and so you want the couple to know you appreciate them including you on their personal journey.

We have made this article into a downloadable, printable version.